Dharma at the Wheel
Yoga for Road Rage
Writing has been more challenging lately. Focused on mixed media art and then I became singly focused on developing work opportunities aligned with my mission (more on that later). It’s also really hard to operate as usual in this unsteady world that is offering a ton of opportunities to practice!
So, I decided that a creative-work fusion piece was in order, offering something that has been in the making for years. It’s not completely ripe yet, but this feels like a good first step.
Warning: It’s fucking long!! But if the title catches your imagination, I invite you along for the ride! It can also be taken in small bites.
Introducing, Dharma at the Wheel – Yoga for Road Rage
— a manual for easily provoked drivers - and plan for peaceful co-existence —
Following is the beginning of a program, years in the making, designed to shift an unwanted mindset to a more favorable one, specifically the mindset that inspires road rage into one of ease and compassion.
Using meditation and other yoga practices, we can begin to shift into a more mindful place, creating peace on the road (and the world), one driver at a time.
There are few things that unleash rage in me more than driving. I enjoy the activity of driving; it’s the other drivers on the road who infuriate me.
Sometimes it’s the little things like not signaling, moving way too slow in the left lane or leaving carts in busy parking lots; other times it feels threatening, when people get so close to my bumper or speed around corners where I’m waiting to make a left turn.
Rational or not, when provoked, habitual reactions are bound to take the wheel and guide behaviors. If I’m mindful enough to pause before responding, I have a choice.
Until now, I’ve not used that opportunity to choose nearly enough. Somehow, my practices on and off the mat and cushion haven’t effectively translated to the driver’s seat. That said, the times I have had presence of mind to practice, have made all the difference!
As my practice, study, and understanding deepen, I notice the impact it has in my daily life. Breath alone may be enough, but for those complicated moments and strong habitual pulls, having a program to practice away from and in the car, can help us train so we’re ready to regain the wheel from the gremlins who would try to take it from us.
I am using the Noble Eightfold Path to loosely structure this program and this is a first draft. I am offering it in its raw state to keep from any need for perfection AND there may be a nugget or two that will be useful to someone before the next iteration comes to light.
As always, I’d love to hear your stories. What triggers you when you are driving in this modern world, and how do you soothe your edges when discursive thoughts (and actions) reach for the wheel?
For transparency, I am quick to flip the bird or yell out a variety of colorful words. I have practiced blowing kisses instead (especially to political signs that piss me off) and have found that, over time, it does shift the energy. It can work while driving too.
This is a living document, one that is customizable for any driver. It is part of a larger program I’m developing called, The Grounded Path, Mindfulness for Daily Life. When it comes to practicing mindfulness, driving feels like a good place to start!
There will be offers of practices that you may not have all the instructions for, so please reach out to me if you need any clarification.
As my first born says when she sees a driver misbehaving… VROOOM VROOM!!
Dharma at the Wheel - Yoga for Road Rage:
Right View: Seeing Clearly & Accepting the Road As It Is
Focus: Shifting perspective – recognizing impermanence, accepting unpredictability on the road.
Make it Personal: I am one of many people driving to get where I need or want to go. All of us on this road have basic goodness as our nature. And sometimes, I’m the asshole.
Practice:
Breathwork - Box Breathing – inhale- hold-exhale-hold for the same count (start with a count of 4 and add as needed). Breathing in equal parts may help to cultivate equanimity.
Meditation - Everything Changes as a contemplation to reduce frustration with delays and unexpected obstacles. This moment is as it is. I choose calm.
Add in Gratitude which reminds us that a delay may actually be saving us from a less favorable fate.
Body Awareness - Soften grip on the wheel, relax shoulders, unclench jaw.
Visualization - Widen your lens to see traffic situations from a broader perspective. Seeing the big picture is a reminder of what’s important.
Right Intention: Driving with Purpose, Patience, and Kindness
Focus: I acknowledge my tendencies to react as if other drivers are deliberately fucking with me on the road. I know that’s not true.
This is where we cultivate patience, release aggression, and set a compassionate driving mindset
Make it Personal: I choose to see other drivers as my daughters, pregnant women, injured humans, lost travelers. Each driver is me or a loved one, under different circumstances.
Practice:
Affirmation Chanting – May I drive with patience. May all drivers be safe. May all drivers arrive safely to their destinations. I drive with patience. I wish safety for all on the road.
Mantra – Breathe in patience, breathe out tension
Yoga Movement – Heart-opening poses (roll shoulders back and lift check slightly to open the heart space, modify camel - ustrassana, cat/cow) to embody openness and kindness (only do a movement when it’s safe to do so – when stopped or easily accessible without distracting from the main job of driving).
Reflection – identifying triggers and setting a daily intention before driving. Having the grace to see yourself in every other driver (this is an advanced practice!)
Right Action: Purposeful Choices – Safe, Conscious Driving Decisions
Focus: What to do in acute moments of frustration, anger, and irritation? Action is the antidote to most things.
Make it Personal: I drive responsibly, with awareness and non-harm.
Practice:
Body Awareness – Body scan to reveal where you’re holding tension. Shoulder and neck tension is a big one – do tension-release exercises while at red lights (neck rolls, turning head slowly side to side, ear to shoulder stretch). How is your grip on the wheel? Where can you soften?
Micro-Meditation – pause before accelerating, observe impulse vs. awareness.
Guided Reflection – How does my driving affect others? Explore karma on the road.
Sing - I sing out loud to a curated list of songs that soothe my edges and fill me with joy. Alternatively, Chant mantra.
Breath & Somatics - Before I move from park to drive, I take a deep breath and remind myself to practice when I feel provoked.
Feel the wheel under my fingers and notice where my palms land
Grip and release the steering wheel
Notice all points of contact, including temperature, texture, and condition
Blow kisses instead of flipping the bird
Practice Metta (lovingkindness) in the moment – specific instructions
Practice Tonglen for the other drivers and yourself
Right Speech: Mindful Communication on the Road – No Cursing or Yelling at Drivers
Focus: manage reactions – minimize harmful language, gestures, and internal dialogue.
Make it Personal: I catch myself when I default to habitual language and replace reactive words with affirmative ones.
Practice:
Mantra – silent or whispered mantra to redirect energy when irritated. Peace within, Peace without.
Breathwork – Ujjayi breathing (ocean sounding breath) to calm nervous system and draw your attention to its audible quality.
Self-Inquiry – Journaling about moments of verbal reactivity and strategies for more mindful responses. Do this while not driving, but practice daily to make the positive impressions.
Working with Language: This may feel contrived at first, so play with intonation that feels authentic until it kicks in fully.
Replace fuck you motherfucker with I hope you safely arrive at your destination.
Like you, I am doing my best. Like me, you’re doing your best.
I forgive you. Please forgive me.
I love you. Thank you.
Speak the Ho O’ponopono prayer – I’m sorry. Please forgive me. I love you. Thank you.
When tempted to yell or gesture, take a deep abiding breath
Instead of honking aggressively, take a mindful breath (or just do a quick toot on the horn, if you must)
Instead of defaulting to cursing people out, hum or chant quietly: Om, Peace, and/or Shanti.
Relax your tongue, the source of your words, and imagine the color blue softly encircling your neck.
Right Livelihood: Ethical Consumption and Impact on Driving
Focus: Make driving more sustainable, ethical, and aligned with your core values. Drive as if you’re the boss and you lead with compassion.
Make it Personal: I go back to basics here. Treat others how I want to be treated. If able, choose a car that reflects your values (mileage, electric/hybrid, gas guzzler – no judgement). I go when it’s green and stop when it’s red. I do not text and drive. I yield, but hold my lane, matching the energy of the road without getting sucked into a negativity vortex. I am the CEO in my car!
Practice:
Breath Awareness – deep belly breathing – ground yourself before starting the car. Use this breath as needed. Breathe in for 3, exhale for 5 to reduce stress.
Eco-Awareness – consider carpooling to help reduce emissions and conscious travel choices. Follow the Speed Limit! The laws and rules are in place for the wellbeing of all of us on the road.
Seated Movement – gentle spinal twists to relieve tension during long drives.
Contemplation – Before reacting, ask yourself, Is this action necessary, kind, and safe?
Energy Awareness – Drive as if you are flowing rather than pushing the car.
Right Effort: Sustaining Calm & Awareness on the Road
Focus: Strengthen positive habits and let go of agitation.
Make it personal: it starts with preparation. I do the work in advance, so I’m prepared when needed.
Practice:
Mindful Driving exercise – focus on breath, sensations, and external awareness (identify three things you see, hear, and feel). If frustration builds, softly tap the steering wheel as a grounding action.
Breathwork – Sighing Exhale – inhale deeply through the nose and sigh it out on sound through the mouth.
Yoga Stretch – wrist and hand stretches for releasing tension from gripping the wheel.
Mantra Reminder – use keywords like softness or flow when frustration arises. Breathe, chant, stretch (as appropriate and safe).
When stuck in traffic, repeat in your mind, I cannot control the road, but I can control my mind.
Ways to Prepare:
Curate a playlist that inspires your best self
Fill your toolbelt with practices to access when you find yourself in an acute moment – practice them all at home so you are ready when you need to access them.
Right Mindfulness: Staying Fully Present While Driving
Focus: Stay fully present while driving, reduce mind-wandering while drivingOperate with full awareness.
Make it Personal – Driving is a wonderful metaphor for life. I allow the road to open before me, turning obstacles into opportunities to practice. My awareness and heart are activated.
Practice:
Sense Practice – select one sense to focus on for 60 seconds or approximately 6 deep breaths:
The feeling of the wheel in your hands
The sound of yours and others tires on the road (may be a good reminder of our interdependent nature)
The movement of your breath – if you’re able to, connect it to the other drivers’ breaths, you may feel more connected to their humanity.
Walking Meditation – practice mindful steps before getting into the car and pause before getting out of the car to feel the ground as you exit.
Driving Meditation – single-pointed focus exercise – tuning into hands o the wheel, breath, and surroundings.
Check-in Practice – periodic self-awareness questions: How is my breath? Am I clenching? Where can I release to create space for compassion? How am I dehumanizing other drivers? Remember our shared basic goodness! Notice what you see, hear, smell, taste, and feel. What do you feel physically? Points of contact. Do a body scan and breathe into tightness, soreness, and any discomfort. Notice any itches. How do you feel, emotionally? Acknowledge whatever arises and return to your breath and physical connections.
Right Concentration: Deep Focus for safe & Aware Driving
Focus: Cultivate laser focus to enhance safety and inner peace. While driving, concentration may look like focusing on road signs, lights, people, anything in your field of vision.
Make it Personal: I focus my concentration on my breath and following the road with all its obstacles and unexpected behaviors.
Practice:
Hands-Free Alternate Nostril Breathing (Nadi Shodhana) - balances nervous system for steady concentration (Do not do if it feels too focused, to the detriment of your ability to drive safely).
Chanting or Humming – using a vibration-based practice to calm the mind while stuck in traffic. Practice so it can be done handless at the wheel.
Matra for Focus – whisper or think, I drive with presence.
Soft Gaze – soften your focus while remaining aware – notice the full scene instead of fixating on one point.
Visualization – driving as a flow state – synchronizing breath with movement.
Here are some additional techniques that may help to ease the way and reduce stress: When practicing IN the car, please remember - Safety First!!
Gentle hand massage
Feel your feet
Engage peripheral awareness to avoid becoming hyper-fixated on other drivers
Exaggerated yawn
Listen to Binaural Beats or 432Hz music
Wishing you all peace as you navigate the not-always-so-nice streets!
SHERRY,
What a woderful piece of writing and kudos for taking good living, (yoga), off the mat. Your daughter’s response of VROOM, VROOM is wonderful. Blowing kisses or just waving hello with a big smile is usually enough to disarm an angry driver. This effort of yours is needed and wanted. What to do. Change yourself first and then change the world. You are on it. Thank-you, Patricia. I might add gratitude in thanking a driver who lets you in or lets you slide. Flash your lights in gratitude.